It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
