she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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