Ketchup is God's man juice
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
