his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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