Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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