Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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