We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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