i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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