No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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