get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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