My hand turned me down
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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