pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
