walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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