A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
