Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
