Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
