Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
