I'm lost and stupid without you.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
