somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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