i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize