My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
