She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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