See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize