honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
