At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
