i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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