Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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