I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize