My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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