help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
wow bdsm is so cute
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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