I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
