i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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