I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
