He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize