If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize