I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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