Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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