Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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