girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
