I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
