I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
