I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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