well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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