if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm getting married
To pizza
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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