we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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