The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
