U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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