just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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