I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think your dad took our porno
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
