ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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