Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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