Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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