when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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