can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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