I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize