fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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