You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
