Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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