Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize