youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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