I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
