Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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