I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
