he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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