So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
