And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
